


The Parent Panelᵀᴹ

by Latishiante1001



Series: Dem Gay Hoesᵀᴹ [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (Obviously), (not really) - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake & Lexa Friendship, Chatting & Messaging, Codenames, Cutie Patootie Monty Green, Everyone Is Gay, Family, Family House, Fluff, Group chat, Memes, Minor Bellamy Blake/Roan, Other, Pancaking, Polyamorous Pack, Polyamory, References to Canon, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Texting, They have a house together, Trigedasleng, Usernames, chatfic, chatroom fic, everyone is poly, family home, text fic, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latishiante1001/pseuds/Latishiante1001
Summary: It's a new day, Lexa makes a new chat and it's to her benefit since Octavia is awake andpissed.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin & Lexa & Roan, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: Dem Gay Hoesᵀᴹ [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737961
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	The Parent Panelᵀᴹ

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was originally going to post this at the same time as the others but I had been up all night and I was tired. But here it is now. New content to give you something to do in this quarantine. Enjoy everyone and I hope all of you are doing okay!
> 
> Trigedasleng Translation:
> 
> Noni - Dad

**_Mama_ ** **has added 3 people to this chat!**

**Mama:** Welcome to The Parent Foursomeᵀᴹ, fellow parents!

**Dad:** Oh dear god, not another chat…

**Mom:** It was my idea so that we can share cute kid pics or talk shit or figure out what the hell to do about Murphy attacking everyone

**Noni:** Thank you for not naming me what I figured I would be named

**Mama:** Yeah, I panicked when I realized my options so I made a new option

**Noni:** Story of your life

**Mama:** True

**Mom:** Lexa, what’s with the chat name?

**Dad:** Yeah, can we please change it?

**Mama:** *sighs* You guys are no fun

**_Mama_ ** **has titled the chat:** **Ideas?** **!**

**Noni:** Are we allowed to speak of this chat to any of the children or is it a secret?

**_Mama_ ** **has titled the chat:** **Are we allowed to speak of this chat to any of the children or is it a secret?** **!**

**Noni:** NO

**_Mama_ ** **has titled the chat:** **NO** **!**

**Mom:** Lexa

**_Mama_ ** **has titled the chat:** **Sorry** **!**

**Dad:** Let’s try and keep this a secret so that the kids (Murphy and Jasper) don’t keep trying to infiltrate it.

**Noni:** Good idea

**Mama:** We still need to title the chat

**Mom:** What about ‘The Parent Panel’?

**Dad:** I like that

**Noni:** I second that

**_Mama_ ** **has titled the chat:** **The Parent Panelᵀᴹ** **!**

**Noni:** Can’t forget the trademark, can we?

**Mama:** Nopeᵀᴹ

**Mom:** OH MY GOD

**Noni:** Bellamy, there might be another fire! Go put it out!

**Dad:** I SWEAR TO GOD ROAN I WILL REPLACE YOU TOO

**Noni:** With who? ‘Cause I don’t think Murphy became responsible enough overnight

**Noni:** 🔥🔥🔥 

**Noni:** Look! It’s spreading, Bellamy!

**Dad:** 😑

**Mama:** So, if you two are done, I’m gonna ask why my wife is freaking out. 

**Mama:** Wife, why are you freaking out?

**_Mom_ ** **sent a photo! (Adorable photo of Monty curled up in ball, sleeping)**

**Mom:** LOOK AT WHAT HARPER JUST SENT ME

**Mama:** I RETRACT MY PREVIOUS SAD FACE ABOUT NOT BEING CALLED THE CUTEST BECAUSE OH MY GOD

**Noni:** If anything bad happened to Monty, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

**Dad:** But then Monty would probably be sad

**Noni:** I TAKE IT BACK

**Noni:** _ I TAKE IT BACK _

**Dad:** But that’s still a full on mood

**Mom:** Yup

**Dad:** Hey, why didn’t Harper send me that photo of Monty? :(

**Mom:** Have you told her to send you cute photos of Monty?

**Dad:** No, have you?

**Mom:** Of course. I’ll send any new ones I get to this chat so we can destress from the other children by looking at the cutest cutie patootie to ever cutie patootie.

**Dad:** You really be a real one, Princess

**Noni:** ^^^

**Mom:** Thank you, thank you

**Noni:** Lexa, are you with Clarke, Bellamy or Monty by any chance?

**Mama:** No, I’m in the kitchen

**Noni:** GET AWAY FROM THE KNIVES

**Noni:** OCTAVIA IS AWAKE AND PISSED

**Mama:** _ FUCK _

**Dad:** GET TO MONTY 

**Dad:** SHE WOULDN’T DARE WAKE HIM UP

**~~~~** **Dem Gay Hoesᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**Haiplana:** WHERE THE HELL IS LEXA?!

**Bell:** OCTAVIA DON’T

**Raccoon:** BELLAMY DON’T DO IT

**~~~~** **The Parent Panelᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**Dad:** I’M TRYING TO BUY YOU TIME SHUT UP

**~~~~** **Dem Gay Hoesᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**Bell:** SHE DID IT TO GET BACK AT YOU FOR TRAUMATIZING ME

**Haiplana:** I KNOW BUT SHE DID IT

**~~~~** **The Parent Panelᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**_Mama_ ** **has sent a photo! (A selfie of Lexa with Monty sleeping next to her)**

**Mama:** I MADE IT

**Noni:** Oh thank goodness

**Mom:** Do NOT leave Monty! 

**Mama:** NO SHIT

**Mom:** I got Lincoln and we’re going to get Octavia

**Dad:** Do you want help?

**Mom:** No, stay where you are. Once Octavia finds out she can’t get to Lexa, you’re probably her next target. Roan, go to Bellamy

**Noni:** You guys will really do anything to get me out of The Parent Panelᵀᴹ or dead, huh?

**Mom:** _ Roan _

**Noni:** Yeah, yeah, I’m going

**Noni:** But I’m recording in case I run into Octavia so you guys know what happened to me

**Mom:** Good idea

**~~~~** **Dem Gay Hoesᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**OG:** Octavia, please don’t hurt Lexa or Bellamy

**OG:** Just tell me where you are so that we can go back to our room and cuddle

**Haiplana:** AS SOON AS I FIND LEXA AND POSSIBLY MY BROTHER WE CAN DO THAT

**~~~~** **The Parent Panelᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**Dad:** FUCK I’M A TARGET ROAN HURRY

**Noni:** She said possibly

**Dad:** THAT MEANS SHE WANTS MY HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER NOW HURRY

**Noni:** I’m trying to look like I’m normally walking through the house so I don’t lead her to you or clue her in that I’m going to you sO SHUT UP AND GIVE ME TIME OR I WILL WALK BACK TO MY ROOM

**Mama:** _ YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY NOT DO THAT _

**Noni:** I can’t do nothin’ in this house

**_Noni_ ** **sent a video! (The video is of him walking through the house before going into Bellamy’s room and Bellamy jumping when he sees the door open. Roan laughs before closing the door, “Chill, it’s just me.”)**

**Dad:** YOU JUST  _ HAD _ TO SEND THAT DIDN’T YOU??

**Noni:** Yea

**Mom:** Update: We made our way to Monty and Harper’s room right before Octavia got there (you’ll see the interaction in a second). Lincoln, amazing Lincoln, talked her down and took her back to their room. So, we’re in The Clearᵀᴹ, lady and gentlefish.

**_Mama_ ** **sent a video! (Octavia suddenly comes into the room and is about to scream at Lexa before she notices that Monty is asleep. This seems to anger her even more before Lincoln starts to calm her down. Eventually, Octavia sighs and gives a last glare at Lexa and a small smile at Monty before she grabs Lincoln’s hand and drags him out. The video ends with Clarke giving a thumbs up at Lexa.)**

**Dad:** Oh thank goodness!

**Noni:** I  _ just  _ got here!

**Mama:** Suffer

**Noni:** Fight me

**Mama:** Do you  _ want  _ me to kick your ass again?

**Dad:** I do

**Dad:** I didn’t get to see it last time

**Dad:** AH SOMEONE HELP

**Mom:** Roan let him or go or I will have Lexa kick your ass again and I’ll record it and send it to the other chat so it stays there

**Dad:** He let me go but now he’s laying on me and he’s heavy

**Mom:** Roan

**Noni:** You said to let him go

**Noni:** I did

**Noni:** Now we’re cuddling

**Dad:** I don’t think this classifies as cuddling

**Mama:** Are you guys pancaking?

**Mom:** _ SWEETIE NO _

**Noni:** I mean……….

**Mama:** WHAT AM I NOT GETTING NOW?!

**Mom:** _ ROAN _

**Mama:** _ ROAN NO _

**Mama:** CLARKE JUST TOLD ME WHAT THAT MEANS AND NO

**_Noni_ ** **sent an audio file! (Roan says, “He won’t stop” over Bellamy letting out a continuous groan.)**

**Mom:** I am  _ not _ opening that file

**Noni:** You just opened it

**Mama:** And she listened to it on my phone when I opened it

**Mom:** How dare you expose me like that? #exposed

**Noni:** I’M CRYING

**Dad:** I WANT TO LEXA WHY????

**Mama:** I’M SORRYYYY

**Noni:** #educatelexa2020sothisshitdoesntkeephappening

**Mama:** Honestly please do 

**~~~~** **Dem Gay Hoesᵀᴹ** **~~~~**

**Precious:** Sooooo

**Precious:** I was taking a nap and I apparently missed a lot

**Precious:** Please tell me Mama is alive

**Raccoon:** Mama’s alive, sweetie. Did you have a nice nap?

**Precious:** Yes. Now, how are you alive? Octavia seemed really pissed

**Haiplana:** I was and still am

**_Raccoon_** **sent a photo and video! (The photo is the selfie of her and Monty. The video is of Lincoln calming Octavia down.)**

**Raccoon:** Also, Roan is Noni now, children.

**Precious:** Ah, so I was the reason you’re alive. Glad I could be of help.

**Precious:** Okay

**Snowflake:** Imma send this because it’s hilarious. Context: I went to Bellamy to help protect him from Octavia and I recorded my journey so if she got me, you guys would know how, and why, I died.

**_Snowflake_ ** **sent a video! (The video is the same one as before; Roan walking to Bellamy’s room and startling him.)**

**Bell:** ROAN

**CawCaw:** Is Jasper okay? He’s laughing so hard

**_Drunk_ ** **sent a video! (** [ **LINK** ](https://youtu.be/uv38sLlR9LQ) **)**

**CawCaw:** OH MY GOD I’M DYING

**Cockroach:** 😂😂😂

**_Bell_ ** **sent a video! (Roan is laying on the floor, laughing uncontrollably with tears running down his face. The camera flips to show Bellamy’s done face before he says, “I hate you, Jasper.”)**

**CawCaw 2.0:** SEND HELP FOR ME AND RAVEN

**Precious Abs:** WHY DOES THAT DUDE LOWKEY LOOK LIKE MILLER?!?!

**Millerpede:** Damn it, Harper

**Drunk:** I TOLD YOU AND I AM TWENTY DOLLARS RICHER

**Snowbitch:** SEND HELP I CANT BREATHE

**_OG_ ** **sent a video! (The video is shaking with Lincoln’s laughter but Octavia is rolling on the ground in tears, holding her stomach as she laughs, “My stomach hurts so bad! Send help!”)**

**Haiplana:** I’M GETTING MILLER THAT WIG AND WE’RE GONNA RECREATE THAT

**Millerpede:** NO I AM NOT DOING THAT

**~~~~ The Next Day ~~~~**

**_Haiplana_ ** **sent a video! (The video is the video Jasper sent but with Miller wearing the wig and Octavia with her hair up as the guy in the red jacket. Both of them are surrounded by the rest of the group while Kane shouts at them from the right.)**

**Millerpede:** I hate you

**Haiplana:** I love you, Miller 💞💙💞💗

  
**Millerpede: 😤** 💙💕💗💓

**Author's Note:**

> Trigedasleng Translation:
> 
> Noni - Dad
> 
> I hope all of you enjoyed this! The next one kind of goes down in humor and gets real but there's still humor. Please leave kudos and let me know what you liked about this part of the series!


End file.
